A couple years ago during Christmas time, Lisa and I did not play Christmas carols. We were of the mindset that everyone gets sick of Christmas carols around Christmas time since they hear them everywhere every year for their whole lives. Boy were we wrong. So we're doing our usual assortment of covers and originals and this guy dressed like Santa Claus comes up to us reeking of vodka.
"Why don't you play Christmas songs?" he asked.
"People get sick of Christmas songs," we replied. Lisa asked a woman standing near us if she wanted to hear Christmas songs.
"Yes!" she said enthusiastically.
Assuming that this must be some kind of mistake, we tried asking some more people. Lisa asked a guy standing near us, and he was like "I love Christmas songs!" We asked a few more people and pretty much got the same response. The drunk Santa was so adamant about us singing Christmas songs that he stole one of the microphones and was saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" very loudly into it, whispering to us that he was doing this to protest us not doing Christmas songs.
There were two problems in us doing Christmas songs. #1 we had a general idea of a lot of the songs, but did not really know almost any of the words. #2 We did not know the guitar for any of the songs. So we made a decision right then and there to delve into uncharted territory.
I started singing Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones but changed the lyrics to fit the Christmas spirit- and thus "Wild Reindeer" was born, an epic about a reindeer strike before Christmas and other complications (like Blitzen's drinking) that made Santa nervous he could not get ready in time. People seemed to be loving it and we made good tips. Santa sang along while intermittently taking swigs from his listerine bottle. We were the fab three. We started getting more confident and made new hits like "Friend of Santa" a Grateful Dead parody, and even did Felice Navidad (Lisa knew the Spanish parts), and Santa Clause is coming to town. We did Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah and people even thought that was a Christmas song. In the Subway, you can make a lot of noise with just a few songs.
Drunken Santa started going around the platform shaking everyone's hands, wishing them a Merry Christmas and giving them gifts from a bag he had (that appeared to be samples from the nearby Filene's Basement and Macy's). We were getting along great. For 2 hours we were on cloud nine or as they say in Christmas lingo at the North Pole. Drunken Santa even gave me an extra Santa hat and made me an honorary Christmas helper.
Part II: The Three Stages of Drunkeness
It has seemed to me over the years that there are three stages of drunkeness:
#1 There's the phase where your inhibitions start to go away, and you start feeling happy.
#2 There is a feeling of elation, like you are on top of the world (think Leo DiCaprio in Titanic: "I'm king of the world!"; on second thought maybe don't think that), the world is your party.
#3 Complete anger, rage, and madness!
We watched our Santa friend go through all of these stages and even some new uncharted frontiers as he continued to take swigs from the Listerine bottles. We at first got comfortable and chummy together like we were the Scooby Doo gang: he could have been Shaggy and I was Scooby and Lisa was Daphne or something like that. But as time progressed, Santa's (or Shaggy's- I think I'm losing the analogy here) inhibitions had him saying some not so nice things to Daphne. He yelled at her when she tried to play an original song, and said that when she sang he just did not feel it. It was like being at a party and everyone's digging their favorite song and then someone tampers with the record and there is this giant scratching noise.
Part III: The Escape Artist
One of the requirements of being a subway musician is the ability to get out of a situation, no matter how difficult. We are social escape artists, if you will. We had a problem here. Daphne was not happy because Shaggy had eaten too many Scooby snacks and had to go. But how do you tell a jolly, Listerine drinking Santa who is starting to get agressive that it's time to go? The way I chose was an analogy.
"Remember when the Beatles and the Rolling Stones did a Christmas concert together in the 60's? They did that show, and it was great, but after the show they went back to their own thing and did their own shows. I'm sorry man, we've had a great show, but I feel that we are holding you back, and you could have a great show at a different spot."
"You mean I'm holding you back!" he said.
My analogy was not working that well (maybe we are not quite social escape artists, but we strive for it). "No, we're holding you back. We did a great show together, and now it is time to do our own shows- Beatles and Stones, man!"
It was sad. It was like being with a friend that when you first met everything clicked and was perfect but then some time later, you said too much, got too close, learned too much about each other. Or maybe it wasn't exactly like that. But for a moment, it was beautiful. I will never forget you drunk Santa, singing your songs handing out your gifts and shaking hands with the good people of the T while drinking your listerine.
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